As dementia progresses, the cognitive impairments it causes can severely affect a person’s ability to drive safely. Even in the early stages of dementia, people may experience memory lapses, slower reaction times, or confusion on the road, putting themselves and others at significant risk.

Senior living communities like Sunol Creek Memory Care are well-versed in providing help and support to families considering difficult decisions like taking away their loved one’s keys. Sunol Creek Memory Care, located in Pleasanton, CA, offers expert care for those navigating the challenges of dementia. Here is some advice from our team.

Determine When It’s Time to Stop Them From Driving

One of the most challenging aspects of dementia care is that the person affected may not recognize their own limitations, especially in the mid-stages of dementia. They may insist that they are capable of driving, even when they exhibit warning signs, such as:

• Getting lost in familiar areas, even on a route they’ve driven hundreds of times.
• Confusing the gas and brake pedals and causing an accident.
• Driving for hours but feeling like only minutes have passed.

According to Jolene Brackey of Enhanced Moments, and author of Creating Moments of Joy, a book for caregivers navigating the journey of dementia, many families make the mistake of letting their loved ones decide when it’s time for them to stop driving. Brackey says, “Unfortunately, families will wait and wait and wait for permission. Your person will not likely say, ‘Hey, here are my keys, I shouldn’t be driving’ – it just won’t happen that way.”

Brackey recommends that families not sell the car but instead take away the keys or render the car unusable for the person with dementia. The reason is that depending on the stage of their dementia, they likely won’t recall that you sold the car and will continue to look for it.

How to Take Away the Keys with Compassion

It’s important to approach this situation with empathy, being mindful of what driving represents for many individuals – independence. Here are some tips to help maintain their dignity while ensuring they no longer drive:

• Make it About Safety: Emphasize that this decision is about keeping them and others safe. Instead of focusing on their limitations, focus on their safety and well-being. Phrases like “I want to make sure you stay safe” can help soften the message.
• Involve Their Doctor: Sometimes, hearing a recommendation from a healthcare professional can carry more weight. Doctors can evaluate cognitive function and driving ability, making it easier for your loved one to accept the decision. You can ask their doctor to write a note explaining that they can no longer drive. When they ask questions, you can show them the note.
• Remove Temptation: If necessary, render the car unusable. This may mean removing the car battery or the fuel pump fuse.

After you take the keys, help your loved one maintain independence by arranging alternative ways to get around. Offer to drive them, hire a caregiver, or introduce them to transportation services for seniors. Maintaining mobility can help ease the transition.

Several reputable Alzheimer’s and dementia organizations also have advice on this very topic. Here are more resources:

• Alzheimer’s Association – “Dementia and Driving”
• Alzheimer’s Project – “What To Do When It’s Time to Take the Car Keys Away”
• AARP – “How to Talk to a Loved One About Giving Up the Keys”

If you’re caring for someone with dementia and need support, reach out to your local memory care or senior living community for expert advice. To contact Sunol Creek Memory Care, reach out online today.